Insane or Wise Guys ?

"There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it" - Reflected Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde .a.k.a Oscar Wilde.

I often wonder at which phase of his life did he say it. At the prison, doing hard labour for two years for 'gross indecency' or did he say it just after he was arrested ruing, he couldn't take the cue and escape or at his death bed fighting a lonely battle with his wall paper ?

I am sure he didn't say it when he was in that act of 'gross indecency' which by the by is the similar to that of what George Michael repeated a century later and learnt in a horrifying way that things have hardly changed.

I rue my tragedies too, of the misses i have had and the hits i have had. More than the misses, its the hits which have a deeper impact on life.

Don't Blv me ? Here's the argument :-

Are you perturbed more by the fact that you couldnt marry that bosom actress you have always desired since childhood or because u finally married whomever u are married to now??


More often the source of pain is from what you have than what you don't have. A itch you have is more troublesome than the fracture you didn't have. So, the idea is to concentrate on what you have and worry about it , than to worry on what you didn't have. It would be a appalling thought to worry about that fracture you didn't have.

Conversely it is a good idea to look at that itch you contracted and be happy that you didn't have that fracture. It is this clarity of thought which would make you content ultimately. So in order to have no worries at all, one has to relinquish everything he has . That's nirvana for people born outside India and Lunacy for people who were born in India, the place where the concept was born.

The most happiest lot are the loonies followed closely by a bankrupt bachelor who is about to become mad, closely followed by a dead mad man.

Loonies, in spite of being judged by majority that they are in sociable and unworthy , do seem to be happy and wise. Loony is a bit demeaning so i would thence choose the word ' Comfortably Numbs (CN)' ( borrowed from Pink Floyd) . Have you ever looked at CN's meeting with an accident on the road ? I haven't. No one I know hasn't . And no one whom they know haven't either.

I always wondered at the way they cross the road . They sure are aware of the loonies behind the wheels and are also conscious of the fact any display of alertness would remove them the hard earned title of 'CN' . So with a body language akin to a CN and a alertness un-spotted by us , they get to the other side carefully avoiding the loonies on the other end of the spectrum.

This one act is enough for me to classify them as Non - Loonies . They have understood clearly what Oscar Wilde meant and have shed every single thing in life excluding sanity to become insane.

Now, don't think that any one can become insane. It is definitely not easy to become insane. One has to work hard at it and consistently too. Danger of exposure lurks at every step . People try to put down the efforts, dismissing one's actions as intended one and not one which is a result of pure insanity. One has to be overtly insane and covertly sane to become insane. Please remember , you have to get your insanity certification done by sane persons who have chosen to remain sane there by proving their insanity. It is the wisest who know that being sane is actually insane and being insane is actually sane.

The trick, my dear, is in not revealing the above secret to everyone, in which case everyone would become insane overtly and sane covertly. Then the charm of being insane is lost and one has to work all the way around to become overtly sane and covertly insane to ensure we are saner than the saner insane.

So next time you come across an insane individual, let that respect be shown to them. They are the ones who have finally beaten life in its own game

Here are some quotes from famous lunatics ..err.. famous personalities,

Madness is to think of too many things in succession too fast, or of one thing too exclusively” – Voltaire

“'But I don’t want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
'Oh, you can’t help that,' said the Cat. 'We’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.'
'How do you know I’m mad?' said Alice.
'You must be,” said the Cat. 'or you wouldn’t have come here.'”

- Alice in wonderland

“You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.” - Robin Williams

“It is only too true that a lot of artists are mentally ill- it's a life which, to put it mildly, makes one an outsider. I'm all right when I completely immerse myself in work, but I'll always remain half crazy.” - Van Gogh

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.”

“Part of being sane, is being a little bit crazy.”

Why Metaphorical Millisecond ?

Well, apart from the obvious attempt to make this blog sound intelligent, which it is not intended to be ( I assure you on that ) , what exactly would be the reason for this title ?

Do you have questions like , Why should it be millisecond ? Why not 'Metaphorical Minute' or 'Metaphorical nanosecond' ? . I am impressed !! You and me belong to the same intelligentsia .

Let me address the question on the selection of the metric unit.

A second is too long !! Minute is far too long !! Nanosecond just enough!! So had to settle for something in between... You have difficulty in believing it ? I am not surprised.

For starters, I suggest you go through the Guth theory or Inflation theory to understand what I am saying . Find below a link which can help you understand it better ..

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cosmic_inflation

Welcome back folks!!

I am pretty sure that you aren't any wiser now than before you checked out that link . Let me interpret that page for you ( and before i get slapped with copyright violation , i have to admit that most of the next few lines , except the mistakes, belong to Bill Bryson ) ...

The theory basically tells us that a fraction of a moment after the dawn of creation, the universe underwent a sudden dramatic expansion. It inflated in size doubling in every 10-34 Seconds. Effectively this theory summates that in a single cracking instant we were endowed with a universe that was vast - at least a hundred billion light years across and perfectly arrayed for the creation of stars, galaxies and other complex systems.

Now , do u still consider millisecond to be a negligible unit of time ? More things got accomplished in that time, than what you desire to do your lifetime.. ( I dont intend to say your life is worthless, I surely would make every attempt to make you realise that fact yourself, by the time u are through with this blog)

Only we dont know how or who or what accomplished it .. God ? I am not so sure...

It is also my theory that everything gets created in millisecond... A bright idea occurs to you in a millisecond and moves into the conception phase in a second..( in a minute you doubt that it wasn't such a bright idea and soon, depending on how foolish your idea was, a proof is handed out to you) , your mood changes in a millisecond. Everything happens in a millisecond..

Now that you are clear in a metaphorical way of the importance of millisecond, I intend to dispel any doubt in you about the nature of this blog. No, its not about science . It could have been, but i would be forced to plagiarise abundantly and in a non eluding manner. Now don't get me wrong, I do abundantly plagiarise and i do elude and that too in a manner that is deceptive , devious and circuitous , thereby leaving a doubt in your mind that i may not have plagiarised at all...

I intend to make this blog e a collection of my random thoughts and ideas ..not Newtonian thoughts but completely worthless ones .. vacillating ones too. But these thoughts are extremely important to me , important enough to blog on it . These thoughts help me find that method in madness.

Madness in who ?

Madness in everything, every idea, perception, people , situation etc..

The topics that are covered range right from that action which triggered a sequence of events creating this universe in an instant, but then took billions of years to create life (Well, was god so inefficient that he took such a long time to decide where to put life after he created the universe ? ) to the most impacting things like the how aliens conspire to cause leaks in my kitchen pipe.

Anyways, I am glad God chose earth for us , because i think it would have been too hot or too cold for us anywhere else... although i would have been glad to spend my summer in mars ( max temp of 20 C )

I am also glad that he planted me in this family too, as any other family would have abandoned me by now.

So there sure seems to be some method to the madness of God and in the things he created. These are visible around us .. the ones i spot are presented here..

My request to you, please dont spend more than a millisecond pondering over my musings..

My foot Hurts

My foot hurts all the time. I am quite puzzled by it. It flummoxes me that my foot should hurt. Its is such a nice foot that i am disappointed with it. My doctor is too, albeit for entirely different set of reasons, the primary being, even he is flummoxed by it and has no clue why it should hurt. Every visit of mine reminds him of his wasteful years in medical college and the knowledge he was proud he acquired.

He is hurt, when i say my foot hurts, because inspite of the sleepless time he spent, learning from hard bound books written by persons with strange names, stranger than the topics they wrote upon , cannot help him find out what is wrong with my foot.

As I said its a good foot and nothing should be wrong with it. I derive a perverse pleasure in the knowledge that he is suffering because of my foot. I am suffering too, but I am glad that it makes him suffer too. I wouldn't mind suffering more if it would make him suffer more.

He is a nice handsome doctor with a towering personality , benign smile, a deep male voice with an ox like built . In short everyone who knows him loves him. I hate him. In fact many I know hate him for being so lovable. Patients make his life miserable. And he suspects that we all conspire together conjuring up rare medical conditions. He feels I arrive early for my appointment so I can brainstorm with my co-patients with a sole intent to expose his lacunae.

' Do you know the patient who was here before you ?' He asks. He asks me that every time. I never know any of them.

' Oh sure, I know him well' I reply with a cheeky smile, ' Why do u ask?' . A frown descends on his eyebrows, nose, forehead , lips , in almost every visible parts of his body. At that moment I know he is scared. He is scared that I am actually doing something behind his back and inventing complaints not only of mine but also of others. My appointment almost ends immediately after with him scribbling some more tests for me.

Its not that I hate him. I think I would have liked him if he were not a doctor. I have a undeclared stealthy war against doctors. It probably stems from the fact that they probably were stronger than me to have dissected all those insects, reptiles, dead men, living men, living men about to die, dieing men etc and learnt the things they know.

I on the other hand chickened out when I finished my tenth grade and chose computers. I was more happy dissecting computers, clocks,cycles, radios,VCRs etc.., though I never believed in putting it all back together again.Don't for a moment think I was not capable of doing it .. I just left that to the neighbor hood mechanic ;)

Anyways, there is another reason I have this distaste for doctors , they call each other 'Doctor'. Can you believe it they call each other by their profession. 'Morning Doctor', 'Can you consult with other doctor, Doctor' , 'Can you please declare my patient dead, Doctor'. I mean they really put up such a big fuss about their education.

Now, Imagine if every one started addressing each other with their profession, ' Morning , Fortune cookie writer' ' Here's my car key, Parker ' , ' Would you mind passing the sauce, Waste water cleaner ? ' . Wouldn't it be fun ? I bet..

There is another reason why I have a distaste for them. They never could save the lives of the ones whom I wanted them to.

Isn't that the job of God , you may ask . But then, did I say i luv God ?