My foot hurts all the time. I am quite puzzled by it. It flummoxes me that my foot should hurt. Its is such a nice foot that i am disappointed with it. My doctor is too, albeit for entirely different set of reasons, the primary being, even he is flummoxed by it and has no clue why it should hurt. Every visit of mine reminds him of his wasteful years in medical college and the knowledge he was proud he acquired.
He is hurt, when i say my foot hurts, because inspite of the sleepless time he spent, learning from hard bound books written by persons with strange names, stranger than the topics they wrote upon , cannot help him find out what is wrong with my foot.
As I said its a good foot and nothing should be wrong with it. I derive a perverse pleasure in the knowledge that he is suffering because of my foot. I am suffering too, but I am glad that it makes him suffer too. I wouldn't mind suffering more if it would make him suffer more.
He is a nice handsome doctor with a towering personality , benign smile, a deep male voice with an ox like built . In short everyone who knows him loves him. I hate him. In fact many I know hate him for being so lovable. Patients make his life miserable. And he suspects that we all conspire together conjuring up rare medical conditions. He feels I arrive early for my appointment so I can brainstorm with my co-patients with a sole intent to expose his lacunae.
' Do you know the patient who was here before you ?' He asks. He asks me that every time. I never know any of them.
' Oh sure, I know him well' I reply with a cheeky smile, ' Why do u ask?' . A frown descends on his eyebrows, nose, forehead , lips , in almost every visible parts of his body. At that moment I know he is scared. He is scared that I am actually doing something behind his back and inventing complaints not only of mine but also of others. My appointment almost ends immediately after with him scribbling some more tests for me.
Its not that I hate him. I think I would have liked him if he were not a doctor. I have a undeclared stealthy war against doctors. It probably stems from the fact that they probably were stronger than me to have dissected all those insects, reptiles, dead men, living men, living men about to die, dieing men etc and learnt the things they know.
I on the other hand chickened out when I finished my tenth grade and chose computers. I was more happy dissecting computers, clocks,cycles, radios,VCRs etc.., though I never believed in putting it all back together again.Don't for a moment think I was not capable of doing it .. I just left that to the neighbor hood mechanic ;)
Anyways, there is another reason I have this distaste for doctors , they call each other 'Doctor'. Can you believe it they call each other by their profession. 'Morning Doctor', 'Can you consult with other doctor, Doctor' , 'Can you please declare my patient dead, Doctor'. I mean they really put up such a big fuss about their education.
Now, Imagine if every one started addressing each other with their profession, ' Morning , Fortune cookie writer' ' Here's my car key, Parker ' , ' Would you mind passing the sauce, Waste water cleaner ? ' . Wouldn't it be fun ? I bet..
There is another reason why I have a distaste for them. They never could save the lives of the ones whom I wanted them to.
Isn't that the job of God , you may ask . But then, did I say i luv God ?
He is hurt, when i say my foot hurts, because inspite of the sleepless time he spent, learning from hard bound books written by persons with strange names, stranger than the topics they wrote upon , cannot help him find out what is wrong with my foot.
As I said its a good foot and nothing should be wrong with it. I derive a perverse pleasure in the knowledge that he is suffering because of my foot. I am suffering too, but I am glad that it makes him suffer too. I wouldn't mind suffering more if it would make him suffer more.
He is a nice handsome doctor with a towering personality , benign smile, a deep male voice with an ox like built . In short everyone who knows him loves him. I hate him. In fact many I know hate him for being so lovable. Patients make his life miserable. And he suspects that we all conspire together conjuring up rare medical conditions. He feels I arrive early for my appointment so I can brainstorm with my co-patients with a sole intent to expose his lacunae.
' Do you know the patient who was here before you ?' He asks. He asks me that every time. I never know any of them.
' Oh sure, I know him well' I reply with a cheeky smile, ' Why do u ask?' . A frown descends on his eyebrows, nose, forehead , lips , in almost every visible parts of his body. At that moment I know he is scared. He is scared that I am actually doing something behind his back and inventing complaints not only of mine but also of others. My appointment almost ends immediately after with him scribbling some more tests for me.
Its not that I hate him. I think I would have liked him if he were not a doctor. I have a undeclared stealthy war against doctors. It probably stems from the fact that they probably were stronger than me to have dissected all those insects, reptiles, dead men, living men, living men about to die, dieing men etc and learnt the things they know.
I on the other hand chickened out when I finished my tenth grade and chose computers. I was more happy dissecting computers, clocks,cycles, radios,VCRs etc.., though I never believed in putting it all back together again.Don't for a moment think I was not capable of doing it .. I just left that to the neighbor hood mechanic ;)
Anyways, there is another reason I have this distaste for doctors , they call each other 'Doctor'. Can you believe it they call each other by their profession. 'Morning Doctor', 'Can you consult with other doctor, Doctor' , 'Can you please declare my patient dead, Doctor'. I mean they really put up such a big fuss about their education.
Now, Imagine if every one started addressing each other with their profession, ' Morning , Fortune cookie writer' ' Here's my car key, Parker ' , ' Would you mind passing the sauce, Waste water cleaner ? ' . Wouldn't it be fun ? I bet..
There is another reason why I have a distaste for them. They never could save the lives of the ones whom I wanted them to.
Isn't that the job of God , you may ask . But then, did I say i luv God ?
2 comments:
mmm let's see, how about teachers, senators, superstars(actors) each calling themselves with the jobs they do, these are desperate people in desperate professions addressing themselves with desperate designations, don't you think?
Brilliant. The twist at the end was unexpected. Reminded me of Jeffrey Archer's - Twist in the tale. Keep writing.
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